Communicating with others in the community

This topic follows from participating in a facilitated space and Polarities, Idealism, Righteousness, and Extremism. You can read those first if you want, though there is enough here to read without context as well.

When it comes to communicating with other members and sharing about yourself, you can talk about normal stuff, keep it light, bring heavier topics, talk about deeper concepts.

Please listen and share with an open mind. Be humorous. Focus on conversation and discussion instead of being right or proving a point. Converse to learn about others viewpoints.

Make a fool of yourself, or others (with good intentions). Learn to see people’s intentions before you judge them or get offended. If someone makes a joke about you, learn to laugh with them.

One intention of this space is to lift the pressure and open the prison of political correctness and attempting to please everybody. This does not mean to hurt others intentionally, but it does mean to speak freely about the way you feel. We have to take the responsibility to find balance between pleasing the world and respecting ourselves enough to communicate what we feel, without feeling we will be punished and criticized every time we say something.

If you feel hurt, first look inwards and try to figure out why it hurt you. Instead of jumping with an impulsive, emotional reaction and branding someone with a label: Pause, take time, assess yourself, respond. This doesn’t mean to ignore your emotional reactions: Listen to the full message your emotions are relaying before responding to the other person. Emotional reactions can become a defense mechanism if we don’t know how to listen to them and understand why they are arising.

If you need help figuring out your emotional response, reach out to a Facilitator privately or even make a post about it to get the community opinion. If someone is repeatedly targeting you then that is definitely the moment to call a facilitator to intervene.

If you want, let the person who hurt you know about it. Ask them why they said / did what they did? Sometimes we need to hear something about ourselves and the best way for someone to do that is to joke about it. We may feel embarrassed or hurt once in a while, let’s learn to be ok with that too. No one is perfect, and over here no one needs to be perfect or show up in any way to be accepted. You are accepted for whoever you are, limitations and gifts included.

For many people, this is going to be a new / unfamiliar way of communication, so if it takes time to get into the flow, that’s ok too. There will be plenty of mistakes made and things said that we may regret later. It’s ok. We are here to learn and grow together.

If you have suggestions on other points relating to communication that should be made explicit, please reply in the comments.

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I was originally gonna make a separate post about this, but decided this could work as a complement to this post. This is an article from the Marginalian (formerly Brain Pickings) that talks about the nature of communication.

[Legendary Physicist David Bohm on the Paradox of Communication, the Crucial Difference Between Discussion and Dialogue, and What Is Keeping Us from Listening to One Another – The Marginalian]

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